I'm bad at this

I promised myself I wouldn’t make any more grandiose statements, mission statements, etc. etc. etc. going forward because I am incapable of living up to them.

This is not inherently a bad thing. Rather, it’s not something I view as negative, rather neutral; it is a reality of my lived experience that I am terrible at followthrough. Whether you consider the ADHD a reason or an excuse, it’s true. I’m pay a little over a hundred a year for this website only to let it sit there and do nothing. I’m hoping I can change that, but I’m not going to say that it will definitely happen because, let’s face, I’ve done that so many times already.

What I can say is I’ve changed the way I look at this site/identity/branding/platform. I’m seeing it as a part of my practice. I’m seeing it as a publishing platform for my research. I am capable of collating my thoughts on here in a way that is beneficial and, hopefully, worth the investment. I can do that much at least. I’m going to (try to) worry less about curating a perfect and crisp Squarespace™️ web presence and instead just do what I can, how I can, why I can.

Paper pulp made exclusively using clothing that no longer fits me, made while in residence at the Morgan Conservatory in Cleveland, OH.

I am fresh out of my first year as a tenure track professor of art. I am not surprised but still arrested by the bureaucracy and responsibilities that are shouldered upon us. A good example of how my brain works happened as I was trying to type up these thoughts — I wanted to say something about our adjuncts and grad students, which led me to drafting then deleting a text to a colleague, then drafting and deleting an email to my school director, then drafting and deleting an email to the gallery director, all with similar ideas and intentions in mind to better support them. Problem is; I didn’t need to do that. I just needed to sit down and focus on the task at hand — a silly little blog post.

Don’t mind the complaining — I’m actually feeling very good about life in general right now. Things are happening for me. I’m in a good place. I still worry about a whole host of things ranging from whether or not my “research” is valid in the eyes of an RPT committee to the fact that I keep getting residencies but no exhibitions come out of them. I will be fine. I still have a lot of grind ahead of me.

Impossible Press is my stream of conscious. It stutters and it accelerates at random intervals, just like me. My zines and my blog posts here are diaristic in nature. I am presenting all that I am / could be to you and am hoping you get something out of it. Perhaps you will, perhaps you won’t. I’m not going to worry about making specific content for this project, I’m just going to make. Maybe that’s what I needed to do all along.